Slow down Psycho

Every day it seems there is a new energy drink designed you to do more, get more extreme, be more awesome! I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m sick of being extreme. I don’t need to mountain bike while being attached to bottle rockets. I don’t need to sky dive while being chased by rabid polar bears. Sometimes I just want to curl up on a couch and watch Rugrats. Is that so bad?

Made for people just like me, a wonderful company has introduced the first anti-energy drink energy drink. With ingredients like theanine, chamomile, valerian, passiflora the drink has the opposite effect. Instead of being a turbo-charged flame of desire, you just calm the fuck down. Thank you Canada for bringing some sense to our crazy caffeine addicted, hyperactive American society.