Monday, November 23, 2009

Finding Urine in Unexpected Places

One of the joys of life has got to be using public restrooms. They’re disgusting, smelly, and usually full of some sort of hidden surprise.
Take for instance today as I walked into the restroom to relieve myself from the mornings coffee. Somehow, someone had managed to get urine all over the freshly whitened porcelain. But not on the sides or the bottom where it would make sense, but on top. Where the flusher is.

Now at first thought you may glance over this as, yes disgusting, but just another joyful moment of using a public washroom. However if you really think about it, like I did, it’s really quiet an amazing feat.
This could have transpired in a multitude of ways, but I’ve narrowed it down to three very unique possibilities.

The urinator has one of those pee’s on deck that are so powerful it causes a stiff penis, not a boner, but a pee-boner. They must stick it up in their boxers to avoid being seen in a meeting with their massive uri-ner. Now once they relieve themselves they don’t quiet have the time to bend it down into the urinal trough, but instead end up peeing straight up, where a dabble lands on the top portion of the urinal (see figure 1).


The urinator has a very powerful stream. I’m talking gunshot speed. The urinator has their pee aimed somewhat down and their powerful pee stream ricochet’s off the back of the urinat off their chest and onto the top of the urinal, leaving them slightly embarrassed and requiring fifteen minutes of cleanup to avoid smelling like Chicago’s Red Line. (See figure 2).


Finally the urinator has a problem with playing with himself while urinating, and really that’s not so much of a problem as many people find themselves doing this from time to time. They shape the outline of the urinal cake, they try to fill up the pool, they spell their name. Well, as they were “playing with pee” they got distracted and let go for a brief second, squirting everywhere with tiny pee molecules, which collected and formed said urine puddle on top of the urinal.

Three Hypothesis. Any other ideas? Feel free to share.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Space Water

Ok, so all weekend I’ve had something on my mind. It’s been bugging me ever since I first read about it and I can’t seem to get it out of my brain.

Water is officially on the Moon. Our Moon, which we have been to dozens of times, has water on it. Now while being an incredible discovery that will surely lead to much more research to learn more, there are a few things, that have me concerned.

1. One of the articles I read said we could now consider taking the moon water and use it for Earth. Why??? We have water on Earth. In fact it covers 71% of our surface. Do we need to risk destroying our crater-faced friend just to get a few extra gallons of water? Plus, last time I checked, flights to the Moon are a bit pricy ($100 million roughly) So unless this Moon water cures cancer, or is the real location of The Fountain of Youth (Which would explain why Pounce de Leon never found it), I see no reason to potentially destroy our planet for a few glasses of refreshing space water.

2. What if there are tiny little creatures in that water? They could be tiny microbial creatures, but what if there are like Space jellyfish, or sharks deep within the core of the Moon? If we did find life in that water, is it Alien? If it is that’s totally amazing and freaky-deeky.
3. Last time I checked the Moon has no Oxygen, yet my high school Chemistry teacher taught me that water is two parts Hydrogen, and one part Oxygen. Something’s not right with this. Is the inside of the moon full of oxygen?
4. If there is water on the moon, how many years til there will be a moon water park. Because that would kick ass.

I’m excited to follow this story and see what develops, and if everything works out as planned, we’ll al be inner-tubing some craters soon enough.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Clash of the Trailers

It’s been a while since I posted something, but having a real job isn’t like having an internship. You actually have real assignments, real meetings to go to, and real deadlines. But attendance disregarded, let’s move on.

Last weekend I watched the original Clash of the Titans with my lady. And by watched, I mean fell asleep for a half hour during it. Before playing it we had n idea when it was made. Based on when we remembered first seeing it, special effects and overall feel of the movie, we placed the date of this movie as early 70’s at best. What a surprise it was to find out this was made in 1981, three years away from Ghostbusters, after Star Wars, and right around the time when Indiana Jones started kicking Ass. We were dumbstruck by how bad this movie looked considering the greatness around the time period.

Now of course Hollywood is ready to give us the remake it (and in this case I truly do think it does) deserves. Here is the epic trailer for the remake of Clash of the Titans.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Spooky Cast

A pseudopod are are temporary projections of eukaryotic cells. This is what they sometimes look like.

Pseudopod is a horror story podcast where user submitted stories are professionally read by creepy throated storytellers. This is what pseudopod looks like.

I strongly suggest a listen despite the fact that Halloween is over and we're all a bit "spooked out." Check out the link and give it a shot.