Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Why People think Online Ads Suck

Well, they do.

I work in an ad agency where we work in the digital environment. That means a lot of web banners, website designs, junk emails, and anything else that can live online. And I’ve seen a lot of really good examples of online advertising. In fact this site is full of awesome amazing ideas for online ads.
I know not everyone can do amazing cool ads with HD video and interactive fully designed games, but there is simply no excuse for this.

Let’s take a look at this. What is this ad saying? Here are a few interpretations.

Option 1

Hi! I’m a terrorist with bad credit. I live in one of the 50 states and I make shit for money because I obviously work for a gas station or the post office. The American Government has made me angry and now I must blow up one of your states. However, a recent grant was issued giving me $$ to help my loser ass develop a bomb to blow up one of the following states below. Click below to let me know which state you’d like me to destroy. I highly recommend Florida.

Option 2

Hi! I’m Joaquin Phoenix. Remember me? I was in Signs. No!? OK remember Gladiator? I was a dick in that movie, and I’m one in real life as well. Now I’ve made the awesome rapper to stop shaving, or caring about personal hygiene. However I’ve hidden from everyone to make sure my rap career starts in the streets. Can you guys which state I’m in? It’s not California!? See you on The Tonight Show Soon!

Option 3

Hi! I’m a dirty ass hippie. I’m super lazy. I used to live with my parents, but they kicked me out and told me to get a job. I didn’t and now I live in your streets with my dog, begging for food scraps and money. I use a dog and my dreadlocked hippie girlfriend to make people feel sorry for me. And guess what? It works. In fact the government pays me to do this. Click below to see what state you can find me. Hint… I’m everywhere!!!

Option 4

Hi! I’m a lazy ad person. I’m supposed to make this ad about some dumb ass government grant, but it’s Friday and I got tickets to Avatar. Let’s see, oh here’s a picture of a poor looking person. Hmmm there we go. Now, lets use 4 different fonts in 4 different colors, just to make it eye catching. Now let’s add all 50 states to fill up that bottom half. Alright! Now I’m done, let’s get stoned and watch some blue aliens. Peace Out.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Conan Sounds Angry

After the ridiculous nature of the late night that he was put through at NBC, Conan O'Brien put out a letter to discuss his displeasure of NBC's master plan. They are attempting to shove in a shortened Jay Leno show, pushing his show to 12:05, a half hour later. Jay Leno's prime time show will, more than likely, go down as on eof the biggest blunders n networking history, causing leaky ratings in local NBC affiliate late night news.

Read on to see what the man with the hair had to say:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I've been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky. That said, I've been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn't the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it's always been that way.



Thursday, January 7, 2010

Lost for Those Who Don't Care About the First 5 Season

To get ready for 2-2-2010 (the premier of the final season of Lost) ABC made this nifty eight minute video summing up everything you need to know from the mind-bending, often-frustrating island/sci-fi/mystery/drama/love story/ show.
Check it out and get ready, let's hope we aren't all disappointed.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Roller Coaster Hijinks

Who doesn’t remember flipping off the camera at amusement parks? Well here are some that take it to the next level, some that are hilarious and some that are just plain awesome.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

This is Wrong

But Still I find it strangely hot when a young pre-teen girl gets covered with sticky green goo.

I think Nickelodeon has a hidden agenda. Getting kids into porn.

Monday, January 4, 2010

New Year, New You

Every January, people start to care about themselves. After weeks and weeks of saying, “I’ll do it after the holidays,” they buckle down and try to make a change. At least for a few days. I too have fallen victim of resolutions that last 48 hours so I’m not going to even say that this year will be different, but regardless one of my resolutions is to make time for this blog so here we are the first week of January with a hope that I return to the glory days, when I posted more often than not.

Here are the top ten new years resolutions for 2010

* 1. Stop smoking
* 2. Get Fit
* 3. Lose Weight
* 4. Enjoy Life More
* 5. Quit Drinking
* 6. Get Organized
* 7. Learn Something New
* 8. Get Out of Debt
* 9. Spend more time with the Family
* 10. Help Others

And according to Spike TV here are ten resolutions for every dude. Pretty bro-tacular and dumb.

10. Be a better wingman.
9. Race a supercar.
8. Hit on a Supermodel.
7. Compete in an eating contest.
6. Tear your car apart and put it back together.
5. Hunt something that can kill you.
4. Do something you’d never, ever do for your woman.
3. Invent your own language.
2. Become a better self defender
1. Don’t back down from a fight.

And finally here are my new years resolutions for 2054.

10. Have an intergalactic three way.
9. Avoid radioactive humanoids.
8. Make it to space more often.
7. Loose some of my Pluto weight.
6. Be more tolerant of alien species.
5. Quit drinking moon water.
4. Learn how to speak Xynigiort.
3. Be more confident around Green women.
2. Pay off some of my space debt.
1. Kill more robots.

Happy new year everyone!