I’m Too Sexy for My BK

So you have the biggest coolest ad agency in the World right? Cool. You have one of the coolest clients that can let you do pretty much whatever your little wormy brains can come up with too right? How can you explain this?

The company that is responsible for some of the best advertising out there (well maybe not the best, but definitely one of the more unique, funny ads) has just released their ad for the BK Super Seven Incher. Complete with more sexual inuendo’s then I care to think about when I want to eat something, this ad features sexy buzz words like BLOW, you away. Juicy seven inches, and is it just me or does that white sauce look very sexual as well.

Now, this message is for Burger King and the fine people in Portland that do this work. I know you have to live, sleep, and breathe Burger King. I know you can do great things as I’ve seen with the “Whopper Freakout” and the “Whopper Virgins” but come on are we in fifth grade and we think this is funny? Try again BK, try again.

Twitter Tribute to MJ

As the weekend went on, more and more people paid their condolences to the King of Pop. Everyone from Fred Durst to Lindsey Lohan, to Paul McCartney, and even 50 Cent are going out of their way to pay their respects to a music and style legend. I found this great tribute set to tweets featuring the lyrics to 'Billy Jean.' Take a look and Rest in Peace Michael.

A blog of Mourning

Like everyone in the World, I am quietly mourning the loss of three icons. Ed Mcmahon, Farrah Fawcet, and the most shocking, Michael Jackson. To me this is the first real icon, that have grown up with that has died. I didn't know Marylyn Monroe, Anna Nicole Smith doesn't count, and Heath Ledger wasn't as big of a sensation as true icons.
Even if Michael Jackson was crazy towards the end of his life, you cannot deny that he left an imprint on the music World, and the World in general. He taught us the unimportance of skin color, the importance of not hanging baby's out of windows, and the horrors of plastic surgery. He will be missed and I will mourn him by listening to the man in the mirror over and over and over and over again.
Rest in peace icons, rest in peace.

The Worst Tats and Tramp Stamps Ever

Tattoos can be really cool. A cobra placed at the right angle, a kick as tat on your biceps can be definitively cool, heck even flaming dice on the right person can look OK. But what happens when you get people with little to know brain function who go into a sub par tattoo joint in Topeka Kansas and ask for, oh I don't know... a dick butterfly. What's that you say? What is a dick butterfly, well simply put it is a butterfly made of dicks.


Too much for you? Well lets say you are really into the Patriots. So much so that you want to get the former Super Bowl champs icon "Patty Patriot" tattooed on you. Lets also assume since you are a Patriot fan, you have little to no class, intelligence and money, therefor you go to a third tier shop and get tattooed by a guy named Stephan who doesn't really speak English, doesn't know what a patriot is, and can't really draw.

Or let's pretend you really hate Ray Romano.


Or love your daughter, your country and Star Wars. But is there a way to incorporate all three?


Check out a full gallery of incredibly bad, incredibly racist, or just incredibly embarrassing tattoos at ugliesttattoos.com

The longest coolest graffiti ever.

Check out this amazing graffiti under an overpass. It's too long to post the picture here, but follow this link to check it out.

Alice in Burtonland

Super trippy, super Burtony, and all around awesome. These are the first stills from the upcoming “Alice in Wonderland” being done by Tim Burton.
I love how fantastic the characters look, and Johnny Depp looks incredible and really dark. I love the Tweedle Dee and Dum characters, and overall if this is pulled of right, it could be amazing.


These look simply amazing and creepy at the same time, yet I am still wary for a few reasons. I loved the original ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,’ and was excited for the Burton version, only to be horribly disappointed. I also love the original Disney version of ‘Alice’ and am afraid that this movie will be as disappointing as that. Secondly keep in mind that Disney is the company behind it, so how creepy could it really be? I was really excited when I had originally heard of a movie adaptation of American McGee’s super creepy and evil Alice video game. I’d love to see a horror movie in the ‘Alice’ World, because let’s face it, everything about the story is freaking creepy.

Anyways, enjoy these pictures and just try not to get too excited about it.



American McGee's Alice Characters

Obama Roll

Someone recently showed this video to me, and I might be incredibly behind the times, but I thought it was really fantastically great. I’m also very impressed by whoever took the time to look through hours and hours of Obama speech footage to find him saying exactly the right words. At some points I almost like Obama’s version better, and it’s nice to have a President that can bust a move.

First came the Snuggie, then the Slap Chop, and now the World will end.

No words can be said. Just watch it.

The foot of a chicken

The worst named band may end up being one of the coolest. At first I was weary after my Uncle called me up:

“Hey Justin, Sammy Hagar has a new band, it’s incredible. There called chickenfoot.”

“What’s that, chicken…”

“Yeah Chickenfoot. It’s got Sammy, Michael Anthony (Van Halen), Joe Satriani (that dude that just guitar solos like a crazy person) and Will Ferell lookalike, drummer Chad Smith (Red Hot Chili Peppers). Check them out.”

Still unsure I decided to go to itunes and check out their most popular song, a little lick titled “Oh Yeah.” It features fun Sammy lyrics using words like “Hootchi Kootchi” and a chorus that just features “Oh Yeah,” over and over. It kinda rocks, and it definitely rolls.
Other songs, most notably “Soap on a Rope” and the crunchy “Down the Drain” (Is there a bathroom theme to this album?) are legitimately great tracks.
Better than solo Sammy, but less dynamic than Van Haggar tracks. Right now it’s in the top ten CD’s on iTunes, and has been gaining popularity, so let’s see if this band can be more than just a side project.

Animated Notes

This is a pretty awesome video. It starts out mildly impressive, but once it evolves, it’s pretty impressive. I love all things stop motion and this is a great idea done with simple materials and done wonderfully.

A Sci-Fi Summer Movie that Doesn't Involve Robots

I’ve been kinda stoked about this movie since I first saw the trailer a few months ago. It’s about to come out in a few weeks to a limited release so if you know of a theatre near you, go see it. Check out the trailer and the ridiculously cool poster for this hopefully awesome movie. It’s gotta be better than Transformers 2 right?

Bloons Tower Defense

A few weeks ago I told you about a wonderful free game called bloons where you popped balloons as a monkey throwing darts. Now I discovered an even better way to play with your monkey. Bloons castle defense takes all the greatness of a classic castle defense game and places it the wacky World of monkey’s throwing darts. Think it’s lame, try to get a super monkey and call upon a super monkey swarm, then we’ll see who is lame. Click here to play the game.

Bad Horror Movies

Everyone has those guilty little pleasures. Sometimes these guilty pleasures turn into full on real pleasures. And sometimes, they become something that turn into things you love and aren’t even embarrassed to admit to.
Horror movies started out this way for me. I’d watch a “Freddy” or “Jason” movie on TBS or one of those cable movie channels, badly edited without all the gore. This was my warm up. As I got older I started renting these movies or watching them at friends houses. We knew they were bad movies, they rarely scared us, but there was something comical about our approach to horror movies. If you take a bad horror movie, for example Killer Clowns From Outer Space, and you watch it as a comedy, a whole new wonderful world opens up to you. The villains become funnier than Will Ferrell and you start to root for them. You enjoy watching people getting killed for the ridiculous ways they die. It’s got nothing to do with a hidden desire to murder cheerleaders, and it definitely has nothing to do with a secret bloodlust, I just like to see shitty actors die. There are occasionally horror movies that come out that make me terrified and are actually very good, and these are great as well, but nothing compares to watching bad actors, bad costumes and bad special effects come together for a bloody good time.

A short list of some of the best/worst horror movies:

Jason X (Take a shot everytime he kills someone)
Freddy Vs. Jason
Killer Clowns from Outer Space >
Toolbox Murders
Final Destination 2
Dead Alive
Re-Animator
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A short list of my personal favorite, actually good/scary horror movies:
Ju-On (The Japanese version)
Behind the Mask
The Orphanage
Shaun of the Dead
Dawn of the Dead (remake)

Feel Good Music

Bowling for Soup/ Barenaked Ladies
Few bands can do what these two bands have done. To the average consumer, these bands recycle shitty, dumb pop melodies with corny lyrics and haven’t changed their style since they started. They wouldn’t make it on any top 10 lists, they wouldn’t be featured on MTV, and they certainly wouldn’t be on a poster in a den or garage of anyone over the age on ten.


However, here is where they come out on top over every band. They are in a band for, in my opinion, the only reason to be in a band. It’s freaking fun! Everyday, they go out on stage and play music that is fun, stupid and most importantly keeps them together, hanging out and having fun. You can tell whenever you see these guys perform, they are just out there having a blast. I’m sick of seeing bands that play and act like their life is so bad because they are pop superstars. How many times have you seen a band play that looks like they don’t want to be there? To be in a band is to hang with your best friends, make music that makes you smile, lyrics that make you laugh, and create something that can make other people feel good about themselves. It’s refreshing to see bands that don’t care what the critics and the so called music critics and experts say about them.

Some music you listen to do become more depressed, some music you listen to for dancing, and some music you listen to to punch 2x4’s. Bowling for Soup and Barenaked Ladies you listen to when you want to stop pretending your cool and just have a good, happy time. After all, all you really need is some ice cream and a hug.

Listen to this song and try not to smile, I dare you.

BOWLING FOR SOUP - The Bitch Song
Uploaded by sk8hi.

Head Candy

Candy and collectibles, the best of all little kids World’s. When I get low I look at my vast collection of Pez dispensors. When life gets me down I just look at The Simpsons, Star Wars characters, bugs, Santa, and a weird bubble man to open their necks and give me some candy. The worst thing about Pez dispensers are their candy though. Grape? Come on that tastes just like Dimatapp. Lemon? Looks and taste like teachers’ chalk. Cherry? I’ll let you pass, but just barely, cause you’re better than grape and lemon. Seriously though, I have a collection of over 300 Pez dispensers and just looking at them in all of their glory, makes me feel like the ruler of a small Pez like World. I still do this. And I’m 25.

Electric Lava

One of my favorite things from my childhood and the only thing in the World that can make you feel like you are on drugs without taking drugs. That and listening to Radiohead. It’s one of the few hippie propaganda that has merged over into the regular mainstream. You don’t have to be smoking the good herb to truly enjoy the bubbly chaos that is a lava lamp. There’s something to be said for the way that brightly colored blobs floating in a brightly lit, unimaginable liquid substance, disperse like molecules. I can literally stare at a lava lamp longer than I can watch an episode of “John and Kate plus Eight, or Desperate Housewives. It’s relaxing, it’s fantastic, and if you never had one get one, even if it’s just a cheap ass keychain version. There are few things in life that make sense, but when staring into the voidless wonder that is a lava lamp, life just makes sense.

Little Things

So here’s the deal. Through a lot of soul searching and contemplation through the weekend, I’ve decided to change things up this week. Seeing as how I’m always into trying new things and changing the format of things, this week will be dedicated to the little things in life. The things that make me smile no matter how shitty of a day, week, or month I’m having. Life’s short, and the only thing that should matter is what makes you happy. This week will be dedicated to the things in life that make my life worth living.

A True Psycho Killer

OK, so I know I am extremely behind the times on this, especially because this song came out in 1977, but there is another reason why I’m bringing this song up. First, it’s my song of the week, you know when you simply can’t go a few hours without listening to a song? That’s “Psycho Killer” for me this week. It’s an amazing song and makes me feel like a better person after it’s over. Secondly it was featured on the closing credits of an Amazing movie I just finished this week. It’s called, Behind the Mask. The Rise of Leslie Vernon. This gem of a movie came out three years ago, but I recently discovered it on Video on Demand for Netflix (Thank you Netflix). The cover makes it look like a typical bad slasher movie, which it is, but so much more. The movie follows the next serial killer, Leslie Vernon, whose work is inspired by the likes of the Freddy’s and Jason’s of the World. He hires a documentary film crew to follow him around as he starts his “career.” It’s entertaining, clever, and in the end one of the better slasher movies out there. I highly recommend it. And start listening to The Talking Heads, they’re unbelievable.
Here’s the trailer for the movie and the Talking Head performing “Psycho Killer.”

Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
Uploaded by Killer_Tomato. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Literally, the best music video

From the series of literal music videos comes the latest one, skewering "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Complete with spinning ninjas, stupid chairs and high school swim teams, this will be sure to put a smile on your otherwise emotionless face.

Seriously, how can you not be excited

Apparently Pixar cannot make a bad movie. It's been almost ten years since Toy Story has been relevant in movie news, but I'm excited about seeing a sequel. This trailer was shown before UP and has been blowing up everywhere. I hope Pixar doesn't follow the trend with the rest of Hollywood and doesn't just start doing sequels and remakes. Check out the trailer and get excited for next year.

Lego Movies

I found these posters on a blog my friend follows, www.geekologie.com, but thought they were too awesome to not share further. Check these out.

I am the eggman, I am the Rockband, cu-cu-cachoo

I’m not that big of a fan of the Rock Band and the Guitar Hero’s of the World, but they might have me with this. Not only can you and three of your friends play and sing in three part harmonies, but this newly released trailer for the game is simply amazing for all the right reasons. Even if you don’t like Rock Band, even if you don’t like The Beatles (and shame on you if you fall into this category) check out this amazing video, chronicling their career.