Thursday, June 30, 2011
Pandas Will Eat Your Face
Panda’s are adorable. They have those big eyes hidden in a cute tuft of black fur. They harmlessly eat bamboo and nap in the sunlight. Some even do adorable kung-fu moves.
This is the average humans perception of Pandas.
Awww cute right.
Look they even sneeze cute.
But I want to clear one thing up right here, right now. Pandas are death machines. Shave a panda and you loose all the cuteness and have just a killing machine.
Here’s a fun fact. Did you know Panda’s used to eat meat until their habitat changed and they were forced to eat nothing but stringy tough bamboo? It’s true. Seriously, Wikipedia that shit.
Now imagine this. You’re living life, eating all sorts of steaks and burgers and just enjoying the shit out of the taste of flesh, and all of a sudden, BAM! No more meat. Enjoy your bamboo fucker. I would think you’d be pretty pissed off right. Enough so that if even the slightest smell of meat comes near you, you’d probably try to shred it to bits and eat the fuck out of it.
Maybe like this?
Where’s your cute doe-eyed panda now?
Just remember the next time you look at a panda and see this…
You should really see this.
This has been a public service announcement by the people who don't want you to get your head ripped off by Pandas.