Princess Peach Is About To Get A Whole Lot Sexier

You know that great feeling you get after you defeat Bowser and you get the girl? Then how quickly that feeling leaves as you are forced to watch hundreds of unpronounceable names wiz past you just to see the last cut scene. Well what if instead of just watching credits and thinking of all the dirty things you’re going to do to the princess in your head, you actually got to fuck the princess.



That’s the idea behind the latest Wii accessory the Mojowijo. With attachments that vibrate and stimulate both male and female sex organs, the Mojowijo was originally concepted as a way to, “stay in touch” with lovers in long distance relationships. Super, I’m for it. Not just for the practical use of wanking it to your lover across the sea, but think of all the amazing games that could use something like this. Here are a few ideas to get the ball rolling. Feel free to send me a check Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft for licensing.

Mortal Kumbat
You choose to be either one of six ultimate fuckers, either male or female (depending on your attachment) and you fight to the death. The twist? Let’s just say when you hear “finish her” you better be ready.


Metal Cock Solid
You take on the role of Solid Cock, a military, secret agent. An expert in hiding in the shadows and taking down victims, who unfortunately has a propensity to be a pedophile. Run around the three different levels, girls locker room, playground, and Sunday school class and see how many little boys and girls you can take down in the shadows.


Kirby’s Epic Blow
The pink adventurer has never has more fun as he has to suck his way through eighteen levels of madness. Each enemy he sucks off he gains a special ability. Try to suck them all.


Poke’fuk
Collect as many dirty scanky ho’s as you can. Sneak up on them tackle them to the ground and then fuck them into submission. Once tamed they become your permanent sex slaves to use whenever you want. Combine abilities for even more fun! Gotta fuck them all!