Jealousy Fills Me Like Delicious Seasoned Beef

One of the coolest ideas for a fast food company I've seen in a while. Makes me insanely jealous of those who got to create this. This is such a great homage to those 60-70's Superhero shows. Totally watchable, and ultimately a good use of the internet.

Here's the first episode of the Super Delicious Ingredient Squad.


The entire site can be viewed here. Prepare for deliciousness.

Four Reasons To Be Excited About This Winter

One of the saddest things about living in Chicago is the wintertime. It’s dark at 5PM. It’s cold. People are cranky, and everything you loved about the city six months earlier is completely forgotten. It makes it hard to live here but today I wanted to take a look at some of the positive things about living here during the cold, uninhabitable months.

You sleep really well

I don’t know about anyone else, but when it’s really cold out and I’m inside with the heater on there’s no place I’d rather be. I can fall asleep with a Jason Stathem movie turned up full blast as soon as I feel the warm, womblike tomb that is my bachelor pad. Plus once you actually crawl into bed, and, if you’re like me have already turned on your electric blanket, it’s like crawling into some magical creatures vagina. Warm, comforting, you just don’t want to leave. During these dark four months, I sleep more than those bright, active days of summer simply because, in my dreams, at least it’s warm.

You are stylish no matter what you wear


The turning weather has a strange effect on Chicagonians. The normally fashionable downtown turns into every fifth grade classroom. People are waddling the streets with huge snow jackets. Every hat is adorned with earflaps. Obnoxiously large boots adorn every girl’s feet. Colors clash, B.O. prevails, but hey at least you’re warm. There is an unspoken bond between those of us living here in the winter. You can wear whatever you want, put on as many layers as you need, smell as bad as you can, but just stay warm. It’s survival of the fittest, and let’s be honest, people survive because of their killer instincts, not their killer ability to match their boots with their paisley sweater vest.

Everyone gets fat

Sure everyone gorges themselves stupid during Thanksgiving, and no one ever turns down a second glass of eggnog. Ever. The holidays just make it so damn easy to put on a couple extra lbs., but even with the two week gym fuck fest that is New Years, people will emerge from the winter months a tad more portly. Every winter I try my damndest to exercise, stay active, and not just watch marathons of Fresh Price, but the lack of sun, and the warmth of my apartment don’t motivate me to move, let alone sweat for an hour a day. Just make sure to exercise like hell in April to get your beach body back.

It’s OK when you want to stay in Saturday night

During the summer, I’m constantly invited to beach days, club nights, barbeques, and other social events that I feel obligated to attend. I’m not saying I’m anti-social, I’m just saying that constantly hanging out with snobbish work friends or way too cool hipsters grinds on you after a while. Sometimes it’s just nice to stay in and play video games. Shit it’s cold outside anyways.

It’s winter. Let’s deal with it together.

Aliens Are Attacking Our Movie Theatres

I love aliens. Independence Day rocked when i first saw it. Loved the new Star Trek, and all the Aliens movies (with the exception of any AVP movies) have been entertaining. But now it seems that since the success of a few recent movies, most notably District 9, there is a rush to make aliens movie. And I'm not just talking Sci-Fi, but ALIEN movies. In the next year there are at least six movies that have to deal with aliens, alien attacks, alien comedies, anything extraterrestrial. And I can't decide if I'm extraterexcited, or extrerworried.

Check it.


Skyline
Release Date: Today
Type of Alien: Bright Light Attack


Apollo 18
Release Date: March 4th 2011
Type of Alien: Astronaut Attack


Battle: Los Angeles
Release Date: March 11th
Type of Alien: Hollywood Attack


Paul
Release Date: March 18th
Type of Alien: Buddy Comedy


The Thing
Release Date: April 29th
Type of Alien: Remade Alien


Super 8
Release Date: June 10th
Type of Alien: Hadi-Cam Wielding


Cowboys and Aliens
Release Date: July 29th
Type of Alien: Gunslinging

The Sugar Devil

Give a kid a marshmallow and make him wait for a second one. Hilarity ensues.

The Only Thing About Titanic I have Ever Liked

Navigate through Tomasz Opasinski's freaky site and see some amazing, totally non-traditional approaches to the movie poster.
I would actually consider buying the Titanic poster, even though I do not like the movie.
Check out his site here.

Marijuana Advertising

As a mild contributor and a heavy follower of Twitter, two things that frequently appear in my trending buckets are ads and marijuana. Amazingly, like spotting a double rainbow over a galloping unicorn with a leprechaun jockey, these two topics have blended, warranting a post.

Newsweek posted an article posing the question, what would happen if marijuana became legal and was promoted via packaging, advertising, etc. Get your brains and eyes ready for plenty of 4:20 friendly, munchie humor.

Introducing the packaging for all five of Mother's Blend strands of pot. Not going to lie, I love these.


Each blend has it's own mild, intoxicating traits.

Remember when only white people liked comics

Hey NBA and ESPN. Stay out of geekdom. This is lame.

Trarvel

Disney is slowly creating their case for supreme dominance in the movie world. Not only are the top two movies of the year Disney productions, Toy Story 3 and Alice in Wonderland, but they just announced that the sure to be huge blockbuster even of the year, The Avengers, will be distributed by Disney. All in all, as long as the quality remains the same and Disney remains a silent partner, I'm for it. There are a lot of amazing things that can be made with the backing of the house powerhouse of mouse.

Speaking of huge blockbusters, the still unreleased movie TRON, will be hitting theatres December (So there could be a chance that Disney will have another huge success). There has been a huge amount of promotion behind the movie and I really hope it's good. So until we see if the new Tron is as shitty as the old one, we get these awesome "tronified" Marvel characters. I'd love to play me some light frisbee with Captain America or lightcycle battles with Ghost Rider.

The Best things the Olsen Twins Have Ever Done... BesidesThat Porn That Only Exsists In My Mind

Back in the day, the Olsen twins were the talk of the town. Releasing shitty direct to video movies every week. This video comes from one they did in the 90's. I think they wanted to bang the turtles or something. Anyways here's the original.


And here's that same amazing music video slowed down.


Hope that made your day as bright as it made mine.

Princess Peach Is About To Get A Whole Lot Sexier

You know that great feeling you get after you defeat Bowser and you get the girl? Then how quickly that feeling leaves as you are forced to watch hundreds of unpronounceable names wiz past you just to see the last cut scene. Well what if instead of just watching credits and thinking of all the dirty things you’re going to do to the princess in your head, you actually got to fuck the princess.



That’s the idea behind the latest Wii accessory the Mojowijo. With attachments that vibrate and stimulate both male and female sex organs, the Mojowijo was originally concepted as a way to, “stay in touch” with lovers in long distance relationships. Super, I’m for it. Not just for the practical use of wanking it to your lover across the sea, but think of all the amazing games that could use something like this. Here are a few ideas to get the ball rolling. Feel free to send me a check Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft for licensing.

Mortal Kumbat
You choose to be either one of six ultimate fuckers, either male or female (depending on your attachment) and you fight to the death. The twist? Let’s just say when you hear “finish her” you better be ready.


Metal Cock Solid
You take on the role of Solid Cock, a military, secret agent. An expert in hiding in the shadows and taking down victims, who unfortunately has a propensity to be a pedophile. Run around the three different levels, girls locker room, playground, and Sunday school class and see how many little boys and girls you can take down in the shadows.


Kirby’s Epic Blow
The pink adventurer has never has more fun as he has to suck his way through eighteen levels of madness. Each enemy he sucks off he gains a special ability. Try to suck them all.


Poke’fuk
Collect as many dirty scanky ho’s as you can. Sneak up on them tackle them to the ground and then fuck them into submission. Once tamed they become your permanent sex slaves to use whenever you want. Combine abilities for even more fun! Gotta fuck them all!